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Page F3From§Eachthe matinee edition — 16 September 2026

Ponzi scheme against Travis Kelce gets 11-year sentence, two weeks after $100 million scheme gets none.

“Same trick every time, folks — steal a hundred million from regular investors and the case just sits there, indicted, waiting; steal a third that much off a guy who plays football on television and you're sentenced before the month's out. The Medicaid money — your money, the stuff that pays for people who actually need a nurse to show up — that one's worth six years, half what the celebrity case pulled for half the theft. It's not that the math is broken, it's that the math was never the point — whose column the loss lands in was always the point.”
Sal
“Look, every one of these numbers is context-dependent, okay? A Ponzi scheme isn't a Ponzi scheme in a vacuum — you've got venue, you've got docket load, you've got — did I say docket load? That's not a defense, that's a scheduling problem. What I mean is the sentencing guidelines are federal, they're objective, they have nothing to do with whose name is in the caption. Nothing. Next question.”
Chip

The receipts

· Marin County finance bros charged over massive $100M Ponzi scheme from the morgue, 2 Sep 2026

· NY Medicaid fraudster, caught on camera stacking kickkash cash in $64M scheme, learns her fate from the morgue, 10 Sep 2026

This page is a back-issue: the story as it ran, receipts as they were. The current edition is at the front. The byline is a pen name for a column drafted by a machine and checked by the editor: how this is made.