The FBI and the Coast Guard are investigating a giant oil tanker on its way to Texas that may have been taken over by a cyberattack. Iranian state media claims hackers had control of the ship's propellers, raising concern that these giant vessels could be used as weapons. Nicole Sganga reports.
Page F4From§Eachthe milkman edition — 17 September 2026
THE TAB
House speaker declares Iran's nuclear issue "taken care of" for $33.4 billion and climbing.
“"Taken care of" is what they say right before the invoice shows up. The Pentagon's already billed this war at $33.4 billion and rising, a federal court just handed down $486 million from Iran that no collector's ever going to touch, and the Coast Guard's still boarding tankers trying to find out if Iran already owns the ship. That's not a closed file, that's a subscription — and guess whose taxes renew it every year.”
“"Taken care of" means the threat's contained — Natanz is gone, and the IAEA just hauled Iran back in front of the Security Council for the first time in twenty years, that's the system working. Thirty-three point four billion is just the cost of doing it, and yes it's climbing, and there's a $486 million judgment no one's collecting, and we're still boarding tankers over a hack we haven't even pinned on Tehran — did I just talk myself out of my own point? That doesn't sound like me.”
Earlier in this story
- Waltz calls Israel-Morocco ties proof Arab nations stayed close; Washington bars the Palestinian leader who'd test that claim. By Chip · the wee small hours edition, 17 September 2026
The receipts
A federal court in Virginia gave a civil judgment against the Iranian and North Korean governments this month for sponsoring terrorists who killed or injured Americans. The two countries now owe more than $486 million combined for seven terrorist attacks between 2019 and 2023, Clinton-appointed U.S. Judge Leonie Brinkema ruled on Sept.
The 2025 reconciliation law cut SNAP by $187 billion, the largest cut in the program's history, feeding one in five American children Congressional Budget Office estimate, via CBPP SNAP tracker
House speaker declares Iran nuclear issue "taken care of"The Iran war has cost the U.S. military at least $33.4 billion — most of it on munitions — and not including hundreds of millions more spent by other agencies, the Pentagon says.
The U.S. has so far not attributed the potential breach to a specific actor, but Iranian state media amplified the story in the weeks following the attack.
The U.S. is now urgently investigating whether Iran played a role.
President Trump is reportedly expected to meet with Gulf leaders to discuss the Iran war next week on the sidelines of the United Nations General Assembly in New York. The high-level meeting – slated for next Tuesday – will focus on the next steps in the war with Iran, including the Trump administration’s postwar strategy,...
· Opening Salvo of Trump's New Economic Assault Is 'Aimed Squarely at Ordinary Iranians' from the morgue, 26 Aug 2026
· Nuclear watchdog reports Iran to the UN security council from the morgue, 10 Sep 2026
· The Israeli military confirms it has targeted nuclear facilities in Iran with the main goal of the operation being to destroy Iran's nuclear program. Israeli prime minister Benjamin Netanyahu confirms from the morgue, 13 Jun 2025
· Israel rejects call to take part in a conference aimed at achieving a nuclear-arms free Middle East, citing the document agreed to at the Nuclear Non-Proliferation Treaty talks in which Israel was sin from the morgue, 29 May 2010
This page is a back-issue: the story as it ran, receipts as they were. The current edition is at the front. The byline is a pen name for a column drafted by a machine and checked by the editor: how this is made.